The House that Jack Kerouac Built
full of anecdotes and real world
mythologies tampered by the patois
of the north,
and poetry pages so far from filial,
bloated with cognac, and
a winking jade buddha under
a darius mosaic sundial.
(Seventy thousand
Billion Four Thousand
Eighty Two Trillion
Voices for Creation--
till the bullet when bang)
I'm a kitten on your patchwork quilt
in the house that jack kerouac built.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Cal,
Overall, this is very good. The subtle shift from the absence of person to the absence of self is very clever.
Other than minor things which you can find yourself, this poem works well. Most of it is already first-rate.
The final couplet delivers a visceral kick that is much appreciated.
Keep it up,
Brad
This is such a cool poem—took me three readings to completely digest it. Love the last two lines.
I like the random brief injection of numbers, it worked pretty well. And the rhyming at the end, worked pretty well.
i really liked the last two lines as well. the poem was amazing, i had to read it a couple times before i realized there was a poem in there, it was great. i love how it's up to the reader to decipher. the poem has imagery and a rich vocabulary. it seemed like a piece from a classical era. very well written!
^my first review, woo-hoo!
Wow, I really loved this. It's probably one of the best I've read on here!
I especially loved this two lines. They hit me as quirky but fitting.
Overall I don't think you should change anything. Great job!
Well, so...
I love you all, and thank you for your comments... *HUGS*
Kerouac, know there is an interesting man, and even an interesting-er poet, and yes I know that's not a word.
About interpretation, well that's really up to the reader, but if I were to put my own spin on it, it would be about that in something beautiful there always is a break.
About the numbers, Xan, check out this.
CL
If you could tell the exact meaning of those numbers and why you choose those, specifically, then I will justify your meaning of them in the work. Otherwise, nice job, as always. Make sure you don't become too abstract.
*eats kitten on patchwork quilt*
I'm interpretting at as either an expression of love towards math or a laugh at poetry. O_o
I suck...
But you don't! So yay for your poem!
One day the world of poetry is going to assassinate you for being so darn good. I, on the other hand (no longer part of the world of poetry), think it's great that you write this well. I love the name Kerouac, especially the way you used it here. Your vocabulary is also something to admire.
Great work.